


You Make It So Easy to Fall So Hard (Sonny Carisi)

by CarisiIsMyHomeBoy



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-30 17:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10168526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarisiIsMyHomeBoy/pseuds/CarisiIsMyHomeBoy
Summary: The one with the road trip.





	

Keeping with tradition, you and Sonny set off for your yearly road trip.

It was something Sonny had started when he got his first car in high school. Every summer, you would make it a point to drive somewhere you had never been before. It would not matter whether you two stayed for a few days, a week, or simply made the drive and then turned around (like the summer of ‘02 when Sonny just HAD to see Mount Rushmore. God, what a waste of forty-four hours). Still, just the time together, making memories was enough for both of you. It was something for you to look forward to every year, and you hadn’t even missed one. You and Sonny had been to Cape Cod in Maine, beaches in Florida, music festivals in Nashville, and museums in Chicago, among many other destinations. This year, you had decided on Savannah for the food, the ghost tours, and the Southern charm.

You loved being with Sonny like this. Just the two of you, on the road with tons of snacks and mix CDs, though in the past few years those had turned into Spotify playlists. It was always so easy, you next to him in the passenger’s seat, him talking about things he had researched about the place you were going. It was always the same thing, each trip, and over the years you had fallen quite hard for your best friend. 

You and Sonny had known each other since the two of you were thirteen. After being paired up for a project on your freshman year, you and Sonny had become fast friends, and soon, you two were inseparable. The two of you had been with each other through a lot, from being each other’s first kiss (both of you insisted that it was only for practice for when you actually had the chance to kiss somebody,) to first boyfriends and girlfriends and graduation. From heartbreak to college and deciding on careers, you and Sonny had stuck together and helped each other through it all. 

Inevitably, you had fallen in love with Sonny. Somewhere between the long drives and the late nights in your apartment, or his, playing board games and laying on the couch, you realized that you loved him, more than you loved anyone else. 

It was a horrible, wonderful thing to love him like this. To have him pull you into a tight hug and thinking about how perfectly you fit against him. To look into his eyes and see a future. To know that even though he was your closest friend, he would never be your Sonny. To him, you were just another sister. 

You convinced yourself that being his friend was good enough for you. It was difficult, to hear him talk about the dates he went on or the people he hooked up with, but you manged to suck it up and fake a smile. In a sense, he always came home to you, anyway. Whether it was breakfast the morning after one of his dates or showing up at your door with your favorite takeout after a long day, he was always there for you, and there was no way you were going to ruin that because of your feelings. You were pretty good at keeping your feelings in check most of the time.

Near the half-way point of your long drive, you and Sonny hit a bad rain storm just outside of North Carolina. Sonny had decided to pull over and try to wait it out, but after 30 minutes of heavy rain, it showed no signs of letting up.

“Hey, it’s gettin’ late anyway and I’m gettin’ tired of drivin’. Wanna just get a motel for the night? I think I saw a sign for one a few miles back.”

You gave him a nod, and Sonny started the car up again, making a U-turn to find the motel.

-

“Evenin’, ma’am. Just a room for the night.”

“One bed okay?”

You interjected, “You don’t have anything else?” To be that close to Sonny, to wake up next to him would be too much for you to handle.

“No, dear,” the woman shook her head, “Half the building’s getting renovated and we’re booked.” 

Sonny put his arm around your shoulders, “Hey, it’ll be just like old times, sharin’ a bed.” He turned to the cashier and told her he would take the room.

She took Sonny’s credit card and swiped, “You guys are too cute. How long have you been an item?”

You began to correct her, but Sonny beat you to it, “Oh, no ma’am. This one’s just like a sister to me.” He looked down at you and flashed his smile, and you forced one of your own. 

She looked almost shocked, “Well, the way you kids act, I would have never guessed. Have a nice night,” Handing Sonny the room key, she gave you a sympathetic look, like she knew. You hoped you weren’t that obvious.

-

“You okay?” Sonny looked worried as he climbed into bed. You had barely spoken since you got to the room. It wasn’t Sonny’s fault; you knew he couldn’t help how he felt about you, but it still hurt every time you heard those words, ‘like a sister’. You hated how pathetic it made you feel. 

As hurt as you felt, though, you were not going to let this ruin the trip.

“Yes, Sonny I’m fine. We should just go to bed.” You noticed your voice cracking slightly as you finished your sentence, and you prayed that Sonny hadn’t. Hell. He was a detective. No way he didn’t notice. 

“Hey, come here. You know you can tell me anythin’,” he scooted closer to you and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you to his chest, and the tears came. 

“Sonny, it’s this! This is what’s wrong!” You swiftly pulled away from him to look into his eyes. They were alarmed at your words. “It’s you. Shit, I don’t know, Sonny. It’s just so hard to be like this with you sometimes.” 

“What do you-“ 

“Sonny, I love you, okay? I love you in a different way that you love me. I love being with you. I love how you’re so sweet, and caring and you’re just you. And, you know, you’re my best friend and I like how you always come to me for advice or to talk, but having to hear you talk about the people you go out with or the girls you take home kills me. Because I want to be that girl. I want to be the girl that you wake up to. Sometimes I can handle it; sometimes I think to myself that it’s okay! It’s okay that you don’t love me back, because I love you as a friend, too. But damn, Sonny, sometimes it’s too hard.”

You studied Sonny’s face for a reaction, but his face was blank, his eyes fixed on yours. You waited for him to do something, say anything, but he just sat upright in the bed, staring with his mouth slightly open, like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t. 

“You know what, I’m going to take a walk,” not waiting for a response, you got out of bed and grabbed your jeans, momentarily not caring that you were taking your shorts off in front of him. 

“Hey, no you’re not, we gotta talk about this,“ Sonny scrambled out of bed, turning his head to let you finish getting dressed before he approached you.

“Sonny, I don’t want your pity. It’s okay, just let me walk it off.”

“Please, will you give me a chance to talk now?” Sonny had taken a seat on the edge of the bed, allowing you to look directly into his eyes. He rubbed your arms, and you managed to calm down. It amazed you how easily he could make you feel better with just this innocent gesture. 

You noticed a small smile creep onto Sonny’s face. His eyes were bright and full of optimism. You wished you could read his expression, but before you could ask him, his lips were on yours. 

Yours arms instinctively wrapped around his neck, his hands moving to your hips and pulling you close. His mouth pushed against yours, running his tongue over your bottom lip, and you opened for him. You couldn’t think of anything else, just Sonny against you. 

Sonny pulled away first, much to your dismay. He licked his lips and pressed his forehead to yours, a wide smile on his face. “Love you like a sister? Are you kiddin’ me?”

You were stunned, “Well,”

“God, I only went out so much to try and get you off my mind. I never thought you’d feel the same way about me, “ he shook his head, “I’m so stupid. All this time, these years wasted because I was too scared to tell you how I felt.”

“In your defense, so was I,” was this really happening? You felt over the moon; like you were going to wake up any moment.

He placed another soft kiss on your lips, “I love you,” it was barely a whisper, but you caught it.

“I love you too, Sonny. At least we’re better kissers now than we were in sophomore year.”


End file.
